I don’t need a man to put me on a pedestal. The idea of being an arm piece or a trophy wife is not for me. In my own experiences, I have met men who want to take me out, “get to know me” and say they want to fill the BAE position because of what they see on the surface. But what about what I want?
Ninety-nine percent of them always fall into the same category: they fail to take the time to observe who I am and understand the woman they are dealing with. Ultimately, they have this idea of me and want to force me into THEIR world. They play themselves by not giving genuine consideration to how I see my future and whether it aligns well with theirs.
If I don’t want to have a similar lifestyle as you, such as where to live, work-life balance, religion, etc. then what are we really doing? Do we even like the same things or are we just warm bodies standing next to each other? I need more than adoration. There’s only but so much, “you’re so pretty omg” can do for me.
At some point, you are going to have to engage in the deeper elements of my mind and heart. Those who are not capable of doing this, have the nerve to want my body. How could you EXPECT access to my physical and don’t know what makes me tick and what makes me shut down mentally?
You haven’t even tried to know my story. You haven’t even thought about how you can actually make sure the next pages in my story can be better with you. And I mean really think about it. Not just say it and let it pass with the wind. Be intentional. I want to be better off with you. Not better off without you.
I live a fruitful blessed happy abundant life alone so if I’m going to give that up, wow me. Don’t be cheap with me. I am not a cheap woman. I’m not talking taking me out to fancy restaurants and Broadway shows every weekend (even though once in a while is always nice ;-)). I’m speaking of a man’s dealings with me. Add value.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17 NIV)”
I don’t care how thorough your resume is. I can see that you brought value to your life. But are you ready, willing and able to bring a similar energy my way? Or once again, do you just want a warm body around because you’re lonely? I’ll pass. I don’t like boring, confusing or lukewarm. I want to soar, elevate and have fun. Simple.
“‘Claire if all you want is happiness, say no. I’m not going to give you a couple of kids and count the days until retirement. I promise you freedom from that. I promise you’ll never be bored.’ He was the only man…who understood me. He didn’t put me on some pedestal. He’s a man who knows how to take what he wants.” – Claire Underwood of House of Cards.
In reality, I will not give every man a chance, who wants a chance. If I’m not feeling you, respect it. And equally so, if you are not feeling me, there’s no hard feelings. I deserve to be with a person I’m crazy about and so do you.
I’m more than just a “nice, attractive” woman. I’m not diluted. I’m as strong as I can be. Sometimes I’m weak. I’m imperfect. I don’t always feel like smiling. I have acne sometimes. I snore and I am stubborn. I will disappoint you. I need you to check me from time to time. But I will make you proud more than anything. You’re getting a whole person with me. I am who I am and I won’t alter that for anyone else’s expectations.
Photo Credit: Jeremiasz Dx